I love that you said something to that kid. I think we need more grownups showing that we care about children and that we’re all in this together. Unfortunately, there are so many ways in which people are not being taken care of societally that it will take a lot more for the older brother to get it, if he ever will, and the dad too.
I did think of what I would hope I would remember to say. I heard it one time as a suggestion from a teacher to a group of teachers from an otherwise unmemorable video. And then I used it. Here was the situation. I’m a middle school teacher. Sometimes we sub for other teachers’ classes if the need arises. So I went to PE (I’m an English/history teacher). A group of girls didn’t want to get up to play the game. So i rallied them. And one girl still sat back. I went to her and was like “come on, you gotta get up, this is your class,” and she said, “shut up” with the sass of an 8th grade girl who doesn’t get a lot of love. And I said, from the video I watched, “who talks to you like that?” And she was so taken aback of course and didn’t respond, and I continued, “no one is allowed to talk to me like that and you shouldn’t be talked to like that either.” She rolled her eyes and joined the group.
I’ve used it a couple other times but that time felt like maybe I could have made a slight difference.
this is SO helpful. I love this and I'm definitely going to keep that to use the next time something like this happens, which i'm sure it will, and sooner than i'd like!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!
I’m not sure what else you could’ve done, honestly! Children learn to treat others the way they’re treated. Hurt people hurt people. Keep doing right by your own children and defend the weak and powerless as best you can.
Yeah that kid clearly learned it from his dad. I think you did your best in the moment, and I also struggle with carrying unfair/unresolved events I experience for days and weeks afterwards. Trying to frame it as “what could have I done different” is I think why I re-loop one-time experiences as Groundhog Day-esque puzzles to be solved. It sounds like you handled it as maturely as possible, even if it felt unsatisfactory. You modeled something important for your kids too. And you let that younger brother know that what he’s experiencing isn’t normal even to strangers. In the end it’s about him feeling supported when he is probably dismissed and not the older brother getting a life change/lesson out of it.
Yes. In retrospect I should've spent more time talking to the little brother about what was happening instead of fuming on my own about it or engaging with the bully! He seemed so desperate for someone to be on his side, poor guy T_T
Omg that’s so awful, poor little guy & what a foul mouthed brat /bully torturing him. dad certainly sounded like a complete loser, a total waste of space. But then again that old saying creeps to my mind. The apple doesn’t fall far from the trees 😡
I love that you called out the older brother bully, and spoke to the boys' dad. You saw someone being harmed and you tried to help them. This risked harm to yourself... you a hero, Kira!! I hate that bullies' poisonous words and actions stick with us, but anyone who's ever met a hero remembers them forever :)
Just read the first chapter of Ramona the Brave and there are so many parallels with your feelings in that situation! The fact you didn’t respond with ‘well you’re a dumb bitch’ in a mocking voice proves how evolved you are.
We obviously know where the older brother gets his words from 😙the father was a POS but no surprise. I am like you and would be thinking of a million of ways I could have handled it to get more of a reaction from the father. None of them would have worked and I know this but STILL. Now I would like to call him a name or a couple. At least the younger brother realizes now that there are people who will come to his aid -sometimes. You did good.
I love that you said something to that kid. I think we need more grownups showing that we care about children and that we’re all in this together. Unfortunately, there are so many ways in which people are not being taken care of societally that it will take a lot more for the older brother to get it, if he ever will, and the dad too.
I did think of what I would hope I would remember to say. I heard it one time as a suggestion from a teacher to a group of teachers from an otherwise unmemorable video. And then I used it. Here was the situation. I’m a middle school teacher. Sometimes we sub for other teachers’ classes if the need arises. So I went to PE (I’m an English/history teacher). A group of girls didn’t want to get up to play the game. So i rallied them. And one girl still sat back. I went to her and was like “come on, you gotta get up, this is your class,” and she said, “shut up” with the sass of an 8th grade girl who doesn’t get a lot of love. And I said, from the video I watched, “who talks to you like that?” And she was so taken aback of course and didn’t respond, and I continued, “no one is allowed to talk to me like that and you shouldn’t be talked to like that either.” She rolled her eyes and joined the group.
I’ve used it a couple other times but that time felt like maybe I could have made a slight difference.
this is SO helpful. I love this and I'm definitely going to keep that to use the next time something like this happens, which i'm sure it will, and sooner than i'd like!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!
two summers ago I was robbed of my cell phone by a child while waiting for the milwaukee ave bus. Chicago kids are built different 😮💨
I’m not sure what else you could’ve done, honestly! Children learn to treat others the way they’re treated. Hurt people hurt people. Keep doing right by your own children and defend the weak and powerless as best you can.
Yeah that kid clearly learned it from his dad. I think you did your best in the moment, and I also struggle with carrying unfair/unresolved events I experience for days and weeks afterwards. Trying to frame it as “what could have I done different” is I think why I re-loop one-time experiences as Groundhog Day-esque puzzles to be solved. It sounds like you handled it as maturely as possible, even if it felt unsatisfactory. You modeled something important for your kids too. And you let that younger brother know that what he’s experiencing isn’t normal even to strangers. In the end it’s about him feeling supported when he is probably dismissed and not the older brother getting a life change/lesson out of it.
Yes. In retrospect I should've spent more time talking to the little brother about what was happening instead of fuming on my own about it or engaging with the bully! He seemed so desperate for someone to be on his side, poor guy T_T
This story!
"...where I discovered I am unfortunately still attracted to men in eyeliner." CHORTLE.
was so sad to realize it still rang tru T_T
Omg that’s so awful, poor little guy & what a foul mouthed brat /bully torturing him. dad certainly sounded like a complete loser, a total waste of space. But then again that old saying creeps to my mind. The apple doesn’t fall far from the trees 😡
I love that you called out the older brother bully, and spoke to the boys' dad. You saw someone being harmed and you tried to help them. This risked harm to yourself... you a hero, Kira!! I hate that bullies' poisonous words and actions stick with us, but anyone who's ever met a hero remembers them forever :)
Thank you Revis!!!! I told the dad "He just really seemed to need somebody to stick up for him," and he turned and walked away T_T
Just read the first chapter of Ramona the Brave and there are so many parallels with your feelings in that situation! The fact you didn’t respond with ‘well you’re a dumb bitch’ in a mocking voice proves how evolved you are.
ooo we just started RAMONA AND HER MOM so will move to the RAMONA THE BRAVE once we finish to see how she handled it!!!
We obviously know where the older brother gets his words from 😙the father was a POS but no surprise. I am like you and would be thinking of a million of ways I could have handled it to get more of a reaction from the father. None of them would have worked and I know this but STILL. Now I would like to call him a name or a couple. At least the younger brother realizes now that there are people who will come to his aid -sometimes. You did good.
Almost like we both come from the same dad with a strong sense of being committed to justice or something??? haha. Love you.