A Few Good Mensches
Cheery moments in between checking votes today
In the words of wise Dr. Becky, I’m trying to “wire my kids for resilience, not panic.”
The role of the parent is to coach a nervous system to cope with being human in the world. Easier said than done given there’s about 45 reasons an hour for the modern adult nervous system’s fire alarm to go off *gestures around at everything.*
And so, in light of this nail-biter of a day, here a few delightful moments to inhale in between feverishly refreshing your news source for ballot counts.
My kids started at a new school this year, but Rowan’s old classmates still invite him to their birthday parties, which makes him feel very loved. One of his old pals raced up to me at the party and stopped just short of throwing his arms around me. I think he loves me because I taught improv to Rowan’s class a couple times and all the boys especially loooooved it, falling all over themselves to outdo each other with their bodies and their vocal chords. No different than my class at UCB in 2010, really.
HELLO!!!!!! this long-haired 7 year old yelled at me, so excited.
Get over here! So good to see you! I exclaimed, enfolding him into a big hug.
Yeah, you might have noticed I have a new hat this year, he straightened, pointing to the vintage mariner hat he sported over his long, uncombed hair. I’m laughing just typing it. “You might have noticed I have a new hat.” lol.
…Aaaand you ALSO might have noticed that I’m taller now, aaand that I’m a pretty great speller now. What an update!
This is the kid who, at a birthday party last year in first grade, started absolutely sobbing when it was time to light their friend’s birthday candles. What’s going on, buddy??? I asked him, holding his shoulders. Are you okay?
He looked at me through sobs, gasping for breath. My mom isn’t here yet and she LOVES birthday cake and she CAN’T MISS CAKE. He wiped the snot cascading out of his nose on his sleeve. It took everything in me not to laugh.
That is…unbelievably sweet. Here, what’s her number? We can call her and see how far away she is, maybe she’ll be here in time for cake. He was crying too hard to talk so I left her a voicemail. Hi…your son is…very, very upset that you might not get here in time to get a slice of cake…?
I can’t believe I didn’t get to take that kid home that day. Rowan could have cared LESS if I ever saw a piece of cake again, despite having made it very clear his entire life until that point how much I love cake!!!!!!!!!! I had to meet this woman! How did she impress so clearly upon her son the importance of her also getting a slice of any cake he had access to???????? When she finally arrived, I basically fell over myself to get at the answer to this riddle.
“I really have no idea,” she said. “He’s just always been obsessed with me having one of whatever he has.”
Zoe thinks tombstones are called “gross stones” and I’m certainly not going to be the one to disavow her of this concept. Or in the words of Zoe: “I shoulda didn’t tell you that.”
This is a letter I found that my great-grandmother sent to my mom, enclosing some money for me - whatever the precious granddaughter needs - NO CANDY!!!!!!! And then signed it from her and her husband, remarking as a post-script: HE SLEEPS ALL THE TIME. hahaha.
Today, we should be making history by electing this country’s first female president. I’ve been thinking a lot about this piece by Audre Lorde.
“I have recently learned about Planaria, a small animal species that self-reproduces and regenerates. You cut off a piece of these simple creatures, and they grow a new piece altogether. Once the piece has been cut off there is an electric charge which goes out in the shape of what is to be regrown, this diagram is then filled by the fat of regenerating tissue—do you hear what this means? Until we can conceive the shape of what has not yet been we cannot fill it. Until we can feel beyond what we have been given, what we have found, what we have been told is right and so forth, until we can feel a need and desire for what does not exist, how can we decide over a future or even think of providing it? This is the function of poetry. This is the function of dreaming. Our ideas follow our needs and desires, our ideas follow vision.”
–Audre Lorde
Today, an electric charge goes out in the shape of what is to be regrown. Hopefully the right shape is set alight.
These were nice to read still even after we didn’t get the news we wanted. I still think we might be able to get to the shape we need to set things alight. I HOPE.